Uncle Mike

I’m no Michael Jackson and I’m not a feminine guy, but little kids are fun to be around. I have never been interested in children before. As a matter of fact, I would probably leave the room if rug rats showed up. I’ve always thought they cried too much. It wasn’t an option to try to keep a kid from crying.

The main young one that got me to like being around lil kids is my nephew. The first weekend after he was born, his third day, I saw him for the first time. It was exciting, it was also the first time I saw the mother. That entire evening seemed almost unbelievable. Being an uncle so early (20 yrs old) felt weird. Back then, he was a light-skinned, tiny baby. After a while, I found myself saying, “LIL STEVE! LIL STEVE!” repeatedly with a smile on my face.

Keep in mind I haven’t held a baby in my life until that day. While holding lil Steve, awkward is the best word to describe how I felt. My hands were under him like holding a watermelon. Curled up and wrapped in blankets, he slept motionless, except for the few random jumps. I guessed it was normal for babies to jump in their sleep, but not after I’d say, “What was that!? Is he O.K.!?”

A few months later, during the summer, I would make the most random silly face I could in order to make Lil Steve laugh. You would have to be there looking at me, you would laugh too. Random noises would come out of my mouth too. Every now and then, I’d play a “baby game”. On the floor, Lil Steve would crawl up to me from a few feet away. Once he reached to my stomach I would come to life all of the sudden and make a buzzing sound, like a happy bee, with a big grin. He’d smile and fall back, crawl away real fast, then come back. We would go at it for a long time.

Another kid I grew to like in a short amount of time I called Piglet. First, let me say I can’t help laughing when another person’s laugh sounds funny. Lil Piglet snorted a lot when he laughed. It was so funny. I think he was around six years old. Being around that kid got my spirits up, it being the funniest thing that happened on that trip. I think the kid liked me; he kept following me just so I’d tickle him. But I noticed this was the only kid there I thought was interesting. The others seemed only to want attention, while this one wanted to laugh. If kids have personalities at age 6, I liked this one’s.

My cousin has two kids. One of them I began to like. I barely did anything but show funny faces. Then, he would leave me alone, somewhat shy. Haha. But he was a cool kid. If you asked him not to do something, he wouldn’t do it. At the end of the day we hung out, the mother smacked him really hard in the back of the head, and said, “Don’t kick that dog!!” I wanted to smack the tongue out her mouth. The kid, around 5 years old, barely kicked, and was probably just curious. It’s understandable to tell the kid not to do it, but DAMN, she didn’t have to smack him upside the head, like some kind of animal.

Those are one of the kids I wish had better parents. They are so fucking stupid, man I can barely think about it without getting upset. Once you meet parents like this, you’d understand. They are very ghetto, and aren’t very intelligent.

Back to a lighter note, I suppose I’m good around kids. They seem to like me when all I do is give them a little attention. As long as they don’t seem spoiled or bratty, I try to make them laugh.

Some say, “He likes you mike!” In my mind, I’m thinking “Well that’s because lil kids are my specialty!”