The kid can’t sleep thinking about death and God. He wonders what heaven is really like, what God is like. He tries to give shape to God as a big, bright light, but it isn’t just a light; it’s everything… and everywhere. The grand size and structure of Him unable to fit into mind… the kid desperately wonders how heaven fits into the picture as he rolls around underneath bed sheets. It’s late night, everyone is sleep, and he’s in the dark room alone. What is God? A question that made the kid most uneasy and frightened is… what made God. After death, we were told we go to heaven… but what if we don’t. What if there is…nothing…emptiness...an everlasting unknown. The little kid didn’t want to be alone anymore. He needed answers, he needed someone, he needed… relief. Who was most suitable for this job?
The kid figured it would be his mother. With the faint emptiness of death lingering in the back of his mind, he walked in his mother’s room waking her up. “Ma… I don’t want to die.”
A quiet room, soundless if it weren’t for the movements of the mother. She calmly says… as if she expected it, “Michael, everyone dies. It’s what everyone has to do at some time.” She was in tone that she was right about this. Simple truth…simple answer, “Honey, people can’t live forever.” The kid was shaken, feeling as though he would do anything to escape the inevitable. He wasn’t convinced enough that there was an afterlife, his faith was numb.
Although… his mother seemed as if death was acceptable. To accept this end of life perplexed the kid. “Why do we live at all just to end up dying?”, thought Mike. His mother’s Acceptance of death calmed him down, not only that but she seemed to accept Mike for thinking like this. “I don’t want to die”. He crawled into the king size bed with his mother and after a few minutes slept.
That is what people live for, Acceptance… I believe it’s an acceptance that we are all human, we all have emotions and strong feelings for things. We are made a certain way and there’s only so much one can do to change our behavior and style. People are just the way they are are in math, logic, emotional reactions, and social interaction. We all have different brains and bodies to work with, we have limits. We also have so many similarities, important ones being emotional and social need.
I believe forgiveness is just a way of accepting how another is. We all make mistakes and have a different toleration level. But shouldn’t we all have an ear to talk to? That we could tell even the ugliest, nastiest things about ourselves and they just listen and accept us? Is that what God is to people who don’t have anyone? Maybe we all just want to be understood, even when we don’t fully understand our own selves. Won’t be any harm in trying. Right?
Patience and understanding can go a long way. Admiration for life and attempts to answer its many questions is human, just as much as fear, hate, love, and empathy. We are many things in one balancing package. Maybe we should give our minds time to balance things out every now and then, give oneself a peace of mind. Reflect on life. Sit down and remind self who you were, are and will be. Love the self and life... or at least observe in admiration. Live long and prosper?
7/13/09
1/23/09
Aging
I used to visit the nursing home to visit my great grandmother who is now deceased. My father, brother and I went about every week and stayed for at least 30 minutes. She’d always be happy to see us and would express her happiness with incomprehensible words, a result of a powerful seizure taken place when she lived alone in Chicago. The only word she could really speak was ‘no’. She was definitely having real thoughts and feelings because she’d talk for ten minutes straight and point at us, then smile wider after she spoke, but she just didn’t know her words didn’t make any sense at all; the speech area in her brain was really fried. We were left to read her body language to know what she wanted and spoke about.
As a kid, going to the nursing home was discomforting, yet I felt sorry for my great granny so I dealt with the nursing home ‘smell’ and the seemingly soon to die elders. I could easily refer to the nursing home as a ‘ghost’s place’ because most of the elderly seemed to be already gone from this world. Some would be in their wheelchairs and appear as if nobody was home. I would feel uneasy when their eyes followed me; I’d wonder if they resented my youth, if they cursed and desired it in the privacy of their aged minds as they were ‘kept’ in the home until they withered out. Sometimes, which could quite possibly be true, I believe they thought, “why is this little niglet looking at me?” or “These damn nigras are everywhere”.
There was one old lady that I’d never forget. It happened on a routine visit to my great granny. On the way out, she had a spoon in her hand and told me to give it to my wife when I get married. A random worker smirked my way. I didn’t like being in that position so I tried to look thankful for having the nursing home’s spoon, and as I turned, she seemed to completely forget about me; I put the spoon down somewhere on the way out.
I’m still wondering to this day how of all the things she could have done, she gave me a random spoon for my wife, and she didn’t even know me! She must be the kind of person that loved to give things, particularly if it has to do with love and marriage. Her mind was weak but much remained intact in that old noggin. I sometimes wish I kept the spoon whenever I think about how sincere she was.
As a kid, going to the nursing home was discomforting, yet I felt sorry for my great granny so I dealt with the nursing home ‘smell’ and the seemingly soon to die elders. I could easily refer to the nursing home as a ‘ghost’s place’ because most of the elderly seemed to be already gone from this world. Some would be in their wheelchairs and appear as if nobody was home. I would feel uneasy when their eyes followed me; I’d wonder if they resented my youth, if they cursed and desired it in the privacy of their aged minds as they were ‘kept’ in the home until they withered out. Sometimes, which could quite possibly be true, I believe they thought, “why is this little niglet looking at me?” or “These damn nigras are everywhere”.
There was one old lady that I’d never forget. It happened on a routine visit to my great granny. On the way out, she had a spoon in her hand and told me to give it to my wife when I get married. A random worker smirked my way. I didn’t like being in that position so I tried to look thankful for having the nursing home’s spoon, and as I turned, she seemed to completely forget about me; I put the spoon down somewhere on the way out.
I’m still wondering to this day how of all the things she could have done, she gave me a random spoon for my wife, and she didn’t even know me! She must be the kind of person that loved to give things, particularly if it has to do with love and marriage. Her mind was weak but much remained intact in that old noggin. I sometimes wish I kept the spoon whenever I think about how sincere she was.
My Brother and Me (Nickelodeon)
Recognize this face?
If so, you must have watched My Brother and Me (Click here) as kid. And if you are a guy, you would remember thinking she was one of the cutest girls that ever appeared on television.
I don't think there are any shows like this that targets black kids; It's too bad this show didn't last very long (I don't even know if they show reruns). The show felt right at home because they sounded black even though they enunciated with clarity, you could relate to it more than any other kid show out there.
I might have had a bad sense of humor as a kid, but the 13 episodes of My Brother and Me appearing on Nickelodeon always got me laughing. Probably the most classic of it all was after the little brother got beat up by the girl, - "Hit me!... Hit me! You think you so bad.. Hit me!" - 'What happened to you Dee Dee?' - 'I got hit'... Perfect set up. It's too bad I couldn't find the rest of the episode anywhere on the internetz.
Some of you might wonder whatever happened to these stars, and luckily, someone took the time to look them up (click here). Just look at that guy trying to be a gangster rapper after doing a show like this.... what the hell are you thinking?
If so, you must have watched My Brother and Me (Click here) as kid. And if you are a guy, you would remember thinking she was one of the cutest girls that ever appeared on television.
I don't think there are any shows like this that targets black kids; It's too bad this show didn't last very long (I don't even know if they show reruns). The show felt right at home because they sounded black even though they enunciated with clarity, you could relate to it more than any other kid show out there.
I might have had a bad sense of humor as a kid, but the 13 episodes of My Brother and Me appearing on Nickelodeon always got me laughing. Probably the most classic of it all was after the little brother got beat up by the girl, - "Hit me!... Hit me! You think you so bad.. Hit me!" - 'What happened to you Dee Dee?' - 'I got hit'... Perfect set up. It's too bad I couldn't find the rest of the episode anywhere on the internetz.
Some of you might wonder whatever happened to these stars, and luckily, someone took the time to look them up (click here). Just look at that guy trying to be a gangster rapper after doing a show like this.... what the hell are you thinking?
Poop in Your Pants
I've exercised quite a bit in my life but have finally realized something. I've always found myself pooping with ease and urgency after working out, and more frequently. It was because of the change in pooping that I determined that exercising was necessary for healthy pooping. My reasoning was that when you're exercising, the movements you make are helping things slide around in your system, and I'm sure there is some truth to that, but there is a greater reason I pooped more.
Recently, I haven't really been doing any serious exercise, and I randomly decided to drink as much water as possible throughout the day. I've gotten a gallon down since last night, but haven't really drank much in the last few hours. I must say, it's so much easier to go number two, I went about 3 times today. whew, and it's got to be the finest looking poo ever witnessed. So, obviously, it was mainly because I drank so much water after exercising that I went so frequently and easily.
If any of you are having any constipation problems, just be sure to drink more water and your problem should go away real soon.
Which all brings me to say something I've been meaning to post about for a while, hemorrhoids. One way to get it is to be constipated. The hard poo makes the veins in your rectum and anus swell up with a particularly unpleasant sensation. Sometimes when you're constipated you strain very hard to get it out, but when you do so, try not to push too hard or you'll get an Anal Fissure (click) which is incredibly unpleasant. And it can happen to you if you aren't careful.
If you have constipation or an anal fissure, I recommend you squat when you want to poo. I doubt you'd find a Squat toilet (click) anywhere but there are ways you can manage squatting. You could even poop in garbage bags lying on the floor. Check out the squat toilet link, you might want to read the arguments for the squat toilet, I instantly wanted one. And when you're have hemorrhage problems, you might want to squat the next bowel movement so it won't be so unpleasant.
This website could help (click) if you're having an anal fissure.
Poop with excitement.
Poop well.
Recently, I haven't really been doing any serious exercise, and I randomly decided to drink as much water as possible throughout the day. I've gotten a gallon down since last night, but haven't really drank much in the last few hours. I must say, it's so much easier to go number two, I went about 3 times today. whew, and it's got to be the finest looking poo ever witnessed. So, obviously, it was mainly because I drank so much water after exercising that I went so frequently and easily.
If any of you are having any constipation problems, just be sure to drink more water and your problem should go away real soon.
Which all brings me to say something I've been meaning to post about for a while, hemorrhoids. One way to get it is to be constipated. The hard poo makes the veins in your rectum and anus swell up with a particularly unpleasant sensation. Sometimes when you're constipated you strain very hard to get it out, but when you do so, try not to push too hard or you'll get an Anal Fissure (click) which is incredibly unpleasant. And it can happen to you if you aren't careful.
If you have constipation or an anal fissure, I recommend you squat when you want to poo. I doubt you'd find a Squat toilet (click) anywhere but there are ways you can manage squatting. You could even poop in garbage bags lying on the floor. Check out the squat toilet link, you might want to read the arguments for the squat toilet, I instantly wanted one. And when you're have hemorrhage problems, you might want to squat the next bowel movement so it won't be so unpleasant.
This website could help (click) if you're having an anal fissure.
Poop with excitement.
Poop well.
Stop Doing It
When people are speaking, most likely during a speech or lesson, they jumble their words up. They follow the jumbled words with a *duldblubbl*. You know what I'm talking about. and Stop It! The shit is annoying as hell.
What's with this pose
Someone please tell me why women pose like this. I did not make this by the way.
My Late Ass Response
a girl said "you guys are something else when it comes to sex. its like you become animals. you get so into it"
MAYBE U JUST OUT OF IT BITCH.
MAYBE U JUST OUT OF IT BITCH.
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